The Angry Amma
Kalaipollil or we can address her as Kala is cycling at a constant speed towards the mission at Auroville, sometimes her rhythm and speed puts the passing-by electric scooter riders to shame. As she went riding along towards her destination which was still 5 kms away, looking at the snaking road her whole life flashed in front of her eyes.
This was the same road on which two decades ago a 15-year-old budding teenager Kala was cycling and was very excited about turning 16 in the next few months. She lived in a small hamlet close to the township of Auroville near Puducherry. She as a teenager would cycle hard everyday to reach the French/Italian restaurant where she worked as a kitchen help for a 55-year-old French widow Ms. Sabine. Lady Sabine settled down here a couple of years back post her husband’s demise, who left her a fortune. Kala, the teenager was late that day and was worried of the gear-chain of her bicycle. If that slips out again then fixing it back would add another couple of minutes to the delay, she thought. Ms. Sabine was a kind hearted lady, however a discipline freak. She was of the school of thought, that the people who don’t make it on time to work have major willingness issues.
Kala had one maternal uncle in the name of family, who she lived with. Mother died of pneumonia when Kala was ten, post which father became an alcoholic and died due to liver failure in roughly three years after his wife passed. Her Uncle was nick named “Tanni Sethu” by the locals, which literally translates into “Water Sethu”, where water was a reference for alcohol. He worked as a carpenter at a local shop, which made wooden doors and spent most of his earnings on alcohol and hardly provided anything at home.
Tanni Sethu once got so drunk that he fell into a drain and kept telling the passers-by that the drain was a new river in the neighborhood and he is having a nice swim. That day Kala didn’t allow Sethu to enter the house until he went to the beach, got rid of his clothes, washed himself properly and dressed decently again. This was the first time our ‘Angry Amma’ got a bit angry, who otherwise would always wear a smile on her round dusky face and greet most of the locals she met. However, things really went out of hands when one evening his uncle came home in an inebriated state with a friend, a 50-year-old divorcee and demanded food for both of them. Kala was of a kind, who would never say no if someone asks for food. Moreover, she had developed a few skills in the kitchen of Ms. Sabine, where she helped. So Sethu’s drunk friend impressed by her cooking, her decent appearance and her kind nature, asked Sethu if he can marry her and in return he would not only waive all the money Sethu owes him, but give him another ten thousand rupees.
Sethu was a low-life drunk, he would do anything for money which buys him alcohol. Post his friend left they had a heated conversation, where Kala clearly disagreed to marry someone 3 times her age, moreover the business deal between them enraged her more. She challenged him asking that what kind of a man is he who can sell his daughter, mother or sister for money? This infuriated Sethu more and he picked up a wooden plank in rage and swung it right towards her face, she dodged as much as she could however, it caught a bit of her forehead and there was a slash from which blood started to ooze out. He lost balance and fell too and hurt his own knee. Kala was scared that he would strike again once he gains balance, so she used this opportunity and ran frantically to her best friend Sheela’s house which was hardly 800 meters from there. It was 11 pm and everyone had gone to sleep however, listening to her shout Sheela’s name, Sheela’s father Dilip, who was a highly respected individual due to his educational background and people skills, woke up almost in no time and ran for her rescue. He was followed by a couple of more neighbors, few women and some kids too. In a few minutes this quarrel had become a huge issue in that small village. When the public saw Sethu walking towards them with the wooden plank in his hands, they caught him and thrashed him black and blue. They then asked him to leave right away and never come back or they would have him arrested for human trafficking and he would spend the rest of his life in Jail.
Sheela’s family had always loved and admired Kala for her inner strength she always displayed. Kala could afford to go to school only till her seventh grade post which earning for living became a priority. Post that day Sethu never came back, he lived on the streets of Puducherry city, begging for food and money, still drinking with the money he begged, pissing in his pants and a total destitute. Kala won’t sleep at home in the nights, she would go to Sheela’s place post dinner and sometimes prepare food for them as a token of thanks and they would love it. Sometimes anger and frustration would surround her about where her her life was heading towards? however she would let it pass and go into slumber so that she could be happy the following day and live for the day. Ms. Sabine was also a silent admirer of Kala’s work and attitude and also knew a bit about her story.
Eight months after her Uncle left home, a news came to the village that he was found dead on a pavement of Puducherry town a couple days ago, and the stench was so bad that even the Municipal workers were unwilling to go near the body. Everyone in the village thought he deserved that kind of an end and he was anyways a pain for Kala and neighbors. Kala, when she heard the news, still had a drop of tear roll down her right cheek, as the last known member of her family was also gone. The left eye tear drop couldn’t leave the eye as it was the optimistic one. Since good and bad phases take turns to visit everyone’s lives, few years passed by, Kala had grown up a bit and she was 19 now and it was time for some change. Her adopted family was better than a real family and she was enjoying almost all fruits of family life, which she missed while growing up. In the meanwhile, Sheela’s aunt who lived and worked in Bangalore as a caretaker of a bungalow, wanted someone who could be a stay home babysitter -cook and this job offered a handsome salary and accommodation. Sheela spoke to Kala about that and kind of sold it to her, saying that when she goes away to a big city, she would get more exposure, get richer and life won’t be this monotonous. Kala, though not completely convinced, agreed to it and confirmed to Sheela and her aunt.
It was time that she travels outside for the first time, though once she had travelled to Tirupathi and Chennai with Sheela’s family when she was in her 5thgrade. This time she was travelling alone, overnight and to a place which was outside the regional and cultural zone a bit. She had heard good and bad things about big cities. The crime and action which she sometimes saw in the movies scared her a bit. She was not much of a movie person, still she watched them as she liked the romantic tracks with meaningful lyrics. She sometimes thought that she is not so attractive, given that the boys never chased her the way they show in the movies. When Sheela and her would cycle to the school a couple of years back a local mechanic Babu, a young lad would ride his 2 stroke moped and follow them trying to have a conversation with Sheela. Babu sometimes came along with a friend Raghavan, a shy guy, it seemed like he had something for Kala but never uttered a word. She wasn’t sure if anyone would ever fall in love with her or she would ever have a family of her own. Then she consoled herself thinking that she is still too young and the whole life is waiting ahead for her. This was the attitude that kept her going. When she broke the news of her moving to Bangalore to Ms. Sabine too, she didn’t react much except assuring Kala that she can have her job whenever she decides to return to Auroville.
It was finally the day when she had to leave the town. Sheela and her father have come to drop her to the bus station. Minutes before the bus could leave, she hugged Sheela and wept. Dilip uncle consoled her saying that Bangalore is just 7 hours away and she can come down on her holidays and he assured that he would take care of her house in her absence. Kala thought that she could never thank this family enough for what they have done for her. Uncle also assured that he would be buying a mobile phone soon and would be the first guy in the village to own a mobile and the day he buys the phone he would call Ms. Sabine and speak to her in French, as she was the only other person around with a mobile phone. On this statement of his, everyone giggled and it took away the heaviness for a moment.
Kala couldn’t get sleep through the night and was only dozing off sometimes. The lady who she was going to work for was a typical Bangalore woman, shuffling between office and family, trying to make something out of life and at the same time taking care of her personal responsibilities. Kala remembered her name as Shreya Madam and she had a piece of paper in her purse with her complete address and mobile phone no. Though Shreya promised her that she would pick her up from the Kormangala stop and Sheela’s aunt Sharadamma would accompany her to recognize her, she still feared going to a big city and being lost at 6:00 am. When the bus entered the outskirts of Bangalore, the bus conductor Manjunath started confirming with passengers about their de-boarding stops, as the bus route goes through the city and there would be hardly any passenger who de-boards at the last stop, the main bus station at Majestic.
Kala was seated right behind the driver at the window seat and she was the third person to inform the conductor that where she needs to get down. She said “Sathyamangalam”, she was given over-information by Sheela about the do’s and don’ts of bus travelling and she confused Kormangala with Sathyamangalam. The driver heard it, couple of passengers who were awake heard it, and Manjunath off course heard it and couldn’t believe his ears and all of them had a hearty laugh. Then Manjunath in his accentuated Tamil and great sense of humor took it further and to tell her “Amma you left home to meet Veerappan and landed in Dr Rajkumar’s territory”. The driver and couple of passengers who heard that, cracked up. Our Angry Amma was frustrated on her own stupidity, thinking that how can she get mixed up with bus stop name, when that was the only thing she had to remember, the sleep deprivation was playing on her she thought.
Manjunath asked her if she has a phone no. or address with her so that she could be directed to the right bus stop. She produced the slip with the mobile phone no. and address, which read some cross and by -lane of Indiranagar. He was not interested in the address though, he pulled out his 3310 model phone, which he was very proud of, mobile phones being new tech and most desirable gadget in those times, and dialed the no. Shreya answered and there was a conversation in the local language, which Kala found difficult to understand, though she has heard it a lot of times back home at the restaurant. Manjunath got off phone and said “your stop is Kormangala”, now she was smiling as she recollected that name and was again feeling stupid.
The bus came to a halt at the Kormangala stop and with a wide smile Manjunath said – “Amma your Sathyamangalam is here, you need to get down and please convey my regards to Veeranna” This time she felt amused on the joke and smiled back.
The moment she stepped down from the bus she could see Sheela’s aunt Sharadamma at a distance, she had a welcome smile on her face and walked rapidly towards Kala. Her years have started to show up as wrinkles and bulged out veins, however she had this air of steadfastness and she never ever relaxed if she was awake. That was her USP Kala guessed. Behind her was this lady with a larger frame, sunken eyes, undone hair and as tall as the Europeans, though with a dusky complexion and yes Kala guessed it right she was Shreya, her future employer. She had an intimidating personality with a sweet smile though. Office, home, socializing and city lifestyle showed on her personality. She greeted Kala and brushed her shoulders, welcomed her to the city and waived towards the sedan parked on the roadside. This was the first time Kala would get to ride on such a long car. This whole journey was filled with many first time incidents in her life and she had started to like these thrilling experiences.
Another first-time experience was the apartment building where she had to live and work. The concept of apartments was new in the cities too. The elderly saw no value in living in an apartment where you don’t have the land for yourself and there was no privacy except behind the walls. They gathered up in the basement and cursed the apartment life every evening and spoke about the good old days, where their nearest neighbor would also see them twice in a week or less. The kids would play in the small play area in the basement with a couple of swings and slides, which were almost occupied throughout the day. All the maids and baby sitters would sit on a slab besides the play area and chatter while the kids ran around the place. It was all very exciting for the first couple of months, post which everything became routine and boring. Kala never complained much as the four-year-old she was handling was of mild nature and when she got her paycheck each month, it was an occasion she would celebrate alone in her room. Dilip uncle helped her opening a State bank account couple of years back, where she saved a part of her earning each month and since she was earning 3 times more than her previous salary, she was getting proud of her swelling bank account. She thought that she could do something nice back home once she has some decent savings. Though she was physically present in Bangalore, her heart stayed back at her small village near Auroville. This is a feeling which every individual would relate to, who works away from his hometown.
She was allowed to call up hometown once in a week. This weekly call was to Dilip Uncle, who already bought a mobile phone and this was normally on Sunday evenings. Two months went past like this and this time the weekly call was a special one, as she was informed of the upcoming engagement of Sheela with Babu the Mechanic. Sheela told her that she has a lot to speak with her when she meets her one on one. Wedding was a month and half later and Kala counted hours and days for that one opportunity to visit her hometown and attend her best friend’s wedding. She was granted a 3-day leave and on her way to her hometown she couldn’t sleep a blink due to the excitement of travelling to her home town. She felt less vulnerable travelling this time, since she had Sharadamma travelling along with her. She missed the 4-year-old Gautham a bit, who has become dependent on Kala for obvious reasons and won’t let go her arm and was clasping hard on to her before she could leave. She heard him scream and cry as she walked down the steps and loud voice of Shreya trying to console him. “In no time a simple companionship changes into an attachment and attachment into a relationship” – she thought.
The ‘happy –morning’ finally arrived with the warm welcome of humid weather and cool sea breeze.
On her way back the previous night, she already decided on the gift she would present her friend with. However, she thought it would be nice if he could speak with the family for 5 minutes in private, which looked difficult with all friends and relatives pouring in for the wedding. She was shocked to see how well her house was maintained in her absence. Dilip Uncle was really a man of his words. She not only asked
Sharadamma to stay at her place but also arranged accommodation for 3 more members of the wedding party there. Raghavan who was Babu’s shy friend had started to work for a local caterer and was responsible for all the meal arrangements for the wedding was excited to see Kala, greeted her with a smile, asked her about her well being and checked with her about the life in Bangalore. Kala was happy that this guy has grown up and broken out of his shell and was handsome looking man now. However, his eyes spoke more than the conversation they just had.
Post dinner she wanted to spend some personal time with Sheela, since it had been a long time that they had some kind of a one on one conversation, which they loved to do back in the days. She asked Sheela if she can talk to all three of them for a minute and she informed them that since her best friend is getting married she wants to give away her house to the newly married couple and that’s what she thought would be the best gift for a friend who was more than a sister to her. She also stated that she had been blesse to have this family around her and she doesn’t have much to loose in life. There was a dead silence for a while, then Dilip Uncle stood up looked at her with a heart felt gratitude, said thank you and walked away. Aunt’s eyes were filled up and she too walked away nodding her head with mixed emotions. Sheela held her arm and told her that it was the greatest gift she could have ever received.
They had the whole night for them, however the time was meagre for the pending stories to be covered. Sheela told her that Raghavan still had a liking towards her and Kala informed her about their conversation of the previous day. Sheela asked her if she would like her to take it further, on which Kala’s face turned pink which was a positive signal for Sheela and she felt the need of her friend to also have a family, which she has been missing all along. The wedding day was full of rituals, Kala looked glamorous in the Kanchipuram Sari she draped and Sheela was also looking gorgeous in the bridal attire and she was enjoying watching the Chemistry between Raghavan and Kala from the left corner of her eyes, through out the rituals. By this time everyone was informed that post wedding Sheela is going to live at Kala’s place and everyone appreciated Kala for her decision. She became a celebrity overnight. Kala also felt a great burden had been taken off her shoulders and was content with the feeling of showing gratitude at the right time.
The Holiday was over and was well spent. It was almost the end of the 3rdday and Kala was ready to leave for Bangalore. Raghavan asked her if he can drop her in the diesel van which he drove for the caterer. Sharadamma sat behind in the truck with the luggage and Kala on the co-driver seat. It was the best thing that happened to him in these 3 days Raghavan thought. He was a bit sad too, however had something running in his mind. Ten minutes into the drive, he gathered some courage and asked Kala if she would accept a gift from him, Kala replied with a smile of consent. He handed over a gift wrapped box to her and asked her to open it. Kala peeped back from the small glass window at Sharadamma and was relieved to see that she was dozing off. She slowly unwrapped the gift and was shocked to see a brand new Motorola mobile phone inside and said that she can’t accept such an expensive gift. Raghavan almost in tears told her that he saved for long in order to buy the phone as once Sheela told him that Kala doesn’t have a mobile phone yet. “I can’t take it back, if you don’t want it then give it away to someone else, but me” he said a bit sternly. Kala liked his arrogance wrapped in innocence kind of expression and smiled at him amusingly. He smelt victory when she quietly slid the box into her purse. They were at the bus station now and Kala was all excited about her new phone which she decided to keep as a secret for a while. When they parked the vehicle and slowly started to walk with the luggage towards the bus, their arms brushed and it sent chills to both of their spines. It was the first touch post acceptance of their love. Kala couldn’t sleep all night and not for a moment Raghavan’s face moved out of her thoughts.
The following week she bought a sim card for the phone, Shreya helped her install the sim and save a couple of mobile phone numbers including her own. She also explained her the basic functions and joked about Kala becoming a modern Bangalore girl since she would be using a cell phone. Every night Raghavan and Kala spoke for 5 minutes exactly at 10.30 pm. There was so much to talk about both their lives and the about Bangalore and Puducherry and so on. Phone tariffs were too high to have long conversations, however in 2 months both of them were totally into each other and they would wait eagerly for the call each day. Shreya noticed that routine for a few weeks and then sweetly confronted her about the call each night, Kala turned pink before she could answer and Shreya quickly understood the matter. She asked her about their future plan and Kala couldn’t answer that question and felt more embarrassed. However, she made up her mind to bring that up with Raghavan on the following day.
It was a Christmas party by the beach where Andrew, the party host roped in Raghavan for catering and since it would be a late night one, he and his workers decided to sleep by the beach and go back once the sun was up in the morning. He knew tonight it would be difficult to have a long conversation with Kala, since the guests would be pouring in later in the night and nothing is more annoying than handling the drunken white “Paradesis” which stands for the literal meaning of a foreigner and also a beggar in the local slang. Kala called at the scheduled time and she could hear the commotion in the background. “I have an important question to ask you? Is this the right time?” – she asked. “Not today, we will talk for double the time tomorrow night and you can ask me all the questions in the world, today I am a bit too busy” stated Raghavan. She felt frustrated thinking that only tonight he had to be busy, when she wanted to bring up the most important topic of their lives. She said “Okay but tomorrow I am not taking any excuses, it is very important” and she hung up. The Angry Amma was a little angry on her to-be partner, however this anger was more out of love and wanting to be with someone permanently.
Little did she know that this was the last time ever she spoke with Raghavan. The party got over by 3:00 AM some of the guests left and some were still hanging around, however the kitchen closed at 1:30 and almost all cleaning was done and goods gathered at one place next to the mini truck. Raghavan and his group thought that they would take a nap for a couple of hours and then they would be ready for the boxing day catering in the afternoon for a family in the town. All of them were exhausted both physically and mentally and few of them had a couple of whiskey and vodka shots from the left-over alcohol at the party and within no time they went into deep slumber. A slumber to never wake up from.
It was the morning of 26thDec 2004 when Raghavan thought he’d overslept, he woke up with his one eye open to find everyone still fast asleep, however it seemed too dark for that hour at the beach, by now the sun should have hit them well. The moment he turned his gaze towards the sea his heart skipped a beat to see a three-storey wave heading towards them. This wave looked like a fifty-foot cobra raising its hood exactly like he’d seen in some of the ancient temples around. This was the Tsunami, the killer which was never heard of before in this part of the world. Before Raghavan could even react he was hit by the first monstrous wave, he struggled to stay afloat and was falling short of breath and then the second wave struck which slammed his head to something solid, like a rock or a wall and then everything turned blurred, then dark and this was the ultimate darkness, the darkness never to get back from.
It was now 2 days since the Tsunami hit, scores of people perished across south Asia and Indian subcontinent. One of the biggest natural disasters of all times. Kala was already in town, she arrived the previous day and was devastated on hearing the missing news of Raghavan. She was still hopeful of he being rescued and alive. She, along with a dozens of neighbors and friends already searched in government hospitals and NGO arranged facilities. There was no trace of Raghavan. Negative thoughts crossed her mind every now and then, however she by now had developed a concrete value system based on hope. “I would wait for him forever if required” She said to herself.
After a week’s search, people started giving up, however Kala just kept trying and it looked like she would never ever stop. She even persuaded Dilip uncle to check with his contacts in the neighboring towns and Chennai, but all in Vain.
It was a month now since bad fortune invaded her life through the ocean. Kala felt guilty and responsible for her own loss. She called Shreya in Bangalore, and informed her that until she gets any confirmed news about Raghavan, she won’t return. She lived in her own house with Sheela, who ensured that Kala at least eats one meal a day. Sheela’s attempts of consoling her had gone into vain and Kala would hardly respond to anything. She was just breathing not living.
“Anyone who has ever tried to my family has never survived!” she told Sheela weeping, while making a morsel of rice and rasam in her stainless steel plate.
Sheela could hear her weep many times in the middle of the night and was deeply concerned about her friend, who was more than a sibling to her. She went home one afternoon to discuss her concern about Kala’s deteriorating mental and physical well being. Dilip Uncle thought it over for a couple of days and being an intelligent and selfless man came up with the idea of involving Ms. Sabine, as Kala admired her a lot and even Ms. Sabine has been through a personal loss alike Kala, not very long ago.
He called her on her cell phone and asked for a couple of minutes of her time, the very next day he went over to her place and narrated the whole situation to her. Ms. Sabine’s heart crumbled on hearing about Kala’s plight as she could relate to her situation very well. Ms. Sabine was recently approached by the mission in Auroville to check if she could run a snack counter for tourists and visitors there, she was short of staff at her restaurant itself so she couldn’t respond positively to them, now she thought of engaging Kala over there and the current situation also demanded the same. Kala was informed that on the upcoming Sunday Ms. Sabine would like to meet her and Kala reluctantly agreed for the meet.
In the presence of Dilip uncle and his whole family, Ms. Sabine persuaded Kala to join work as a canteen manager at the mission. It was a decent profile with a satisfactory salary. Moreover, in a couple of months there was a plan to have a team of four to five cooks at the canteen, which would in turn reduce her burden and make life easier. Kala had no options but to agree. “If not my own family, let me be busy feeding the bigger family the residents and the tourists, and it is something I’d loved to do all my life. This is my destiny, to serve without relationships or expectations and to accept whatever best this life has to offer” she thought.
Since that day until today Kala takes the same route back and forth and smiles more than ever before, with the hope that some day Raghavan would return. She cooks great meals at the canteen with the flavor of that hope and pours it on the plate with all the love saved in her heart, which could be seen on the faces of the visitors when they take their first bite.
Our Amma is not Angry anymore.
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